Alfred in Wonderland
by YuNami XD
Summary: Have you ever wondered about a Hetalia version of Alice in Wonderland. Well here it is straight from the sick mind of YuNami! No language or anything like that!
1. Prologue

"Alfred F. Jones who do you choose to represent your case?"

Plead my case? I barely know anyone. I don't even know how I got here. Now I was standing in court pleading for my life and now I had to choose someone to save my butt! Man I wish I had never found that stupid hole. I should have never listened to that stupid rabbit eared guy. My goodness I was just in a meeting this morning with Arthur and Mattie. Mattie! I have to get back home! I can't stay here they said someone close to me was in danger. It has to be him.

"I choose him!" I pointed at the man who was wearing a large hat. I knew this was a bad idea but he was the only one I trusted. He was my way out I have to get home and out of this stupid Wonderland place and get home to Mattie!


	2. Chapter 1

My day was abnormally normal. It started with the usual meeting between us countries. I, Alfred otherwise known as America, was trying to get me be to be their leader and superior. Of course everyone disagreed.

Everyone began leaving the meeting room once I was done with my usual rant. The only ones left were me, Arthur, Ivan, and who ever Ivan was sitting on…

"Ivan! Get the heck off my brother!" Ivan looked at me with his creepy childish smile and began to laugh. I stomped my way over to him and grabbed hold of his pink scarf. I yanked it until it was tight around his neck and threw him to the ground.

"Mattie, are you OK?" He sat there literally frozen in fear, I didn't blame him. Ivan was pretty creepy. I turned to see him leaving the room carrying a pick-ax. He was mumbling something about Wang and becoming one. I shivered at the thought and hoped that Wang had already left.

"For a stuck up brat you are pretty protective of your brother." I turned and looked at Arthur who was still in his seat sipping his nasty tea.

"Shut up Arthur, it's none of your business."

"It is to; I raised you to after all." I turned my back to him and helped Mattie out of his chair. I was happy that the meeting was held at my house. So I just led him to one of my guest bedrooms and let him lay down. I walked to my room and sat down at my desk.

"I can't believe no one like my idea."

"Well that "idea" was a little selfish." I turned around and saw Arthur standing in my door.

"Was not, I just want to be accepted."

"Well by doing stuff like that is not going to help. That's just pushing everyone away."

"Whatever, it's not like I care why do I want to hang out with a bunch of old people anyways."

"We're not that old."

"Yes you are, look at Wang he is like 1000 years old!" Arthur sighed and went and sat on the window seat.

"You used to be such a good kid Alfred. What happened?"

"I grew up." I turned around and began doodling on the papers on my desk. I heard Arthur stand up and walk across the room.

"Alfred I think it's time for an attitude change. One day you're going to need help and no one is going to help you." I didn't say anything I just stared at the papers. I heard my door close and waited until I couldn't hear Arthur's footsteps anymore before I stood up. I walked out my door and down the hall to Mattie's room. I opened his door and saw he hadn't moved. I walked over and felt his forehead. Great he has a fever.

"I'll be right back Mattie. I'm going to get some medicine, you have a fever." He nodded slightly and I helped him under the blankets. I turned off the lights and closed the curtains. I stood in the doorway and just looked at my sick brother. After a few minutes I decided I better leave so I could get home before it got dark.

I got to the front door and went to grab my jacket when it suddenly flew off the hook. It was hanging above me just out of reach on what looked like a fishing line.

"Tony! I don't have time for this, give me my jacket!" A grey oval shaped head popped out from behind the railing on the stair. He blinked his red eyes and laughed in his scratchy and electronic sounding voice. He lowered my jacket down into my hands and I slipped it on then I quickly stormed out the door.

"Why did I ever bring that stupid alien home?" I walked down the path that led to the town outside my home. I had to hurry because Mattie never did well when he was sick. When we were younger he almost died because we didn't have the right medicine like we do now. The wind was harsh and cold and the path was obscured by the snow. I hate winter and why does Mattie have to get sick this time of year.

I finally reached town and saw only a few stores were open. Great now I'm going to have to walk even further I thought to myself. I finally reached a Walgreens and found the medicine Mattie needed. I took it up to the register and saw that I knew the clerk.

"Eliziveta? I didn't know you worked here." The girl pushed her long curly hair out of her face and smiled when she saw it was me.

"Yeah I just started I need to make some money so I'm such a burden on Roderich." She picked up a yellow handkerchief and tied her hair back with it and began to ring p my stuff.

"You know that he doesn't think of you as a burden. I also hear you guys are getting married soon."

"Yeah we still have to plan everything first."

"Well that's good and also why weren't you at the meeting today?"

"What am I doing now? I was working besides why should I go? No one likes my ideas."

"Yeah I know how you feel."

"That's right you probably do since you are one of the youngest. Well here's your stuff, is Matthew sick again?"

"Yeah I better get going." I waved good bye and left the store. White flakes began to fall to the ground and the wind picked up. I guess a storm is coming; I need to get home fast. I ran until I came to the path that led up to my house and stopped to catch my breath. I walked up the path slowly taking my time since I was still out of breath. I need to lay of the cheeseburgers. I could see the house through the trees along the path. I was about to start running again when I heard something.

I stopped in my tracks and looked around to see what it was but there was nothing there. I started forward when all of a sudden a small white creature stepped out in front of me. It was a rabbit with a red coat on.

"What the- Why the heck are you wearing a jacket little guy?"

"Its winter what do you think?" It talked. The rabbit just talked. I couldn't believe it. He pulled a watch out of his pocket and looked at it and sighed.

"Great, I'm going to be late." He stood up and ran off into the forest. Instinctively I ran after him. I should have gone home to Mattie but I needed to figure out why the heck the rabbit could talk. He was fast but not too fast I stayed on his trail until he disappeared at the base of a tree. I looked around the tree and didn't see him anywhere.

"Where'd he go?" I stepped back towards tree and felt my foot hit nothing. I looked down and saw that there was a giant hole at the base of the tree. I knelt down beside it and looked down into the black abyss.

"Hello? Anyone there?" I yelled down the hole but no answer. No answer, guess I better give up while I'm ahead. Besides I need to get home to Mattie before this storm picks up anymore. I was about to stand up when there was a clash of thunder. My foot slipped and I began to fall in to complete darkness.

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**Second story sooo IDK how itll turn out let me know if you like im still tryin to figure out the other characters... BY YUNIE!**


	3. Chapter 2

It seemed I would never stop falling. I had stopped screaming about ten minutes ago and I still was falling. Well actually I wasn't falling it was more like floating down slowly. I could see a dim light below me but no light from above. I looked around the sides of the hole and there were random things sticking out of the dirt. I passed teddy bears and couches, even a bed or two. Finally I could see a floor below me and then I was floating. I crashed into the floor and sat up rubbing my head.

There was nothing in the room. I looked around trying to figure out where the light was coming from but there was nothing. Then I noticed a very small door.

"How the heck am I supposed to fit through there?"

All of a sudden there was a small vial beside the little door. I walked over and picked it up and examined the liquid inside it. It was a glittery blue color and it had a note tied to the heart shaped top. I read it and it said "This is your key in and out."

"My key? What is that supposed to mean? O well bottoms up."

I took off the top and drank the strange liquid. It tasted like my favorite foods all at once. My body began to feel warm like the liquid was spreading throughout it. The room began to slowly get bigger, when all of a sudden I was finally small enough to go through the door.

"Wow I got smaller, wait haven't I seen this somewhere before? In a story I read awhile back or was it a movie?"

I turned around and opened the door and what I saw amazed me. It was green all around and the flowers were as tall as sky scrapers. There were flying rocking horses and flying pieces of toast.

"Ha butterflies, what is this place?"

"Why it's Wonderland how do you not know it from the stories?" I looked over and saw a man with slicked back blonde hair wearing a red coat, he reminded me of Ludwig. He had a giant clock on his belt and what amazed me were the white rabbit ears popping out of his head.

"Who are you, and are those ears real?"

"Of course they are and how do not know who I am? You're the one who followed me here."

"Wait you're that white rabbit?"

"Yes I am."

"Wow and so you mean this is actually Wonderland from all the stories and movies?"

"Yes didn't I just say that now follow me. I have someone who can explain everything and why you are here."

"I don't have time for that I need to get home now. My brother is sick and if i didn't get him medicine soon he might just die."

"You can't leave until you get that vial filled back up." I looked in my hands and saw that the vial was empty except for a drop in the bottom.

"Well where do I get a refill then?"

"It fills up as you meet people and finish your quest here. Like I said you're here for a reason." The rabbit-man began to walk down a dark path into a forest of giant trees. I decided to follow him since he was the only one who knew his way around. We walked the path until we reached a circle of mushrooms. In the center sat one giant mushroom with a person in a caterpillar costume on. It looked like Kiku.

"Kiku is that you?" The person looked down at me and blew smoke into my face.

"Kiku, I don't know that name. I have no name and who are you?" He leaned in closer until his nose was about a centimeter from mine. He sniffed and sat back up and pulled out what looked like an old scroll.

"Here open this so I can see who are and what your reason for being here is."

I took the scroll and unrolled in on a line of mushrooms. There was nothing it at first but once the caterpillar-person touched with his smoke thing pictures began to appear. I couldn't tell what they meant.

"Well looks like your reason here is just to make friends Alfred F. Jones. Such an easy quest, what a pity the last of your family that was here had to slay the jabberwocky."

"Last of my family what do mean? In the story the main character was Alice Liddell, my last name is Jones."

"You are a descendent of Alice. She is your great-great grandmother on your mother's side and you inherited your father's last name."

"That explains it, so all I need to do is go out and make friends?"

"Yes seems like an easy task but it's not. One of the people is the Red Queen and that will be a hard task."

"All I can do is try I just need to get home quickly. Where can I start first?"

"Take that path to the right. It will lead you to the Hatter, be warned he is a bit… How do I put it?"

"Mad?"

"Yes that's it."

Alright then I'll be off, bye Rabbit, bye No name caterpillar." I walked down the path into darkness. The only light was the yellow road I was walking on. I had to stop let little creature run past. They looked like little pants with crazy hair. I guessed they were what one of my friends back home called momerats. I walked for maybe twenty before I heard music. The trees broke at a little clearing with a house in the middle of it. In front of the house was a long table with two people sitting at it. One looked exactly like Arthur and they looked just like Antonio.

"Great," I said to myself "I have to make friends with a person who looks just like the person I hate most, stupid England."

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**Well I started writing again! OMG I'm also working on youtube vids so bear with ME! I wont give the link to my site until I put more stuff up so yea...**


	4. Chapter 3

"Well well. What have we here?"

Tarrant was sitting in the tea party garden enjoying tea time with his friend Mr. Thackery when a tall, blond-haired boy came rushing in. This would hardly have been enough to arouse the interest of the infamous "Hare and Hatter" duo but this kid looked vaguely familiar. In his customary way of greeting people, Tarrant stomped his way over all the china and sweets and came to a stop mere inches from the boys face and said, "Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?"

The kid jumped back and ducked as Mr. Thackery threw his tea cup at him shouting, "YOU'RE LATE FOR TEA!" Tarrant stared curiously at the kid who was looking back at both of them incredulously. "What the heck happened to you two? You've lost it! Why are you throwing things at me Spain? Last I checked you were one of the people I hadn't offended."

However, Mr. Thackery, whom the blonde had addressed, was too busy chasing around a little dormouse who had stolen his tomatoes and kept yelling in a shrill voice, "Chigi! Chigi! CHIIIIGIIII!"

"AND YOU! Since when have you started talking about such stupid stuff England? Did France get you drunk again? Is that why Spain's wearing rabbit ears? Argh! I don't have time for this! You were the two people I thought were my friends but now I find out that in Wonderland your just a pair of cracked nuts and I still have to make friends with whoever the "Red Queen" is and some other people and to top it all Mattie is sick and really needs me and I'll NEVER get back to him!"

Tarrant patiently listened to this little rant making note of grammatical errors, although he didn't make mention of them to the clearly distressed and frantic kid, and decided that it was time for proper introductions. After all, he couldn't let him go on calling Mr. Thackery this "Spain."

"Why are you calling me England? My name is Tarrant, or Hatter if you please, and I would appreciate a name along with that speech. The dormouse has this terrible habit of stealing good speeches. Also, I wouldn't call Mr. Thackery Spain anymore if you don't want to be chopped in the head with his ax."

"MY ARMADAAAA! My name is Thackery Wicket also called the March Hare the second cousin of the White Rabbit and I will be known as such! Now where did my little henchman go?"

"Okaaaaay... I'm sorry, you're right. I just really need to get back to my brother soon and it's making me anxious. My name is Alfred. I'm a descendent of Alice and I need your help to get back to my world. The reason I called you England is because there's this really annoying, nagging guy called England in my world who looks exactly like you and a cheery, laidback guy called Spain who looks like him. Do you think you could help me?"

"Oh, you know Alice? This is wonderful! It's been ever so boring since he left! I know just what to do. You can have tea with us! You'll feel much better if you can live through it!"

* * *

Alfred made a less-than-enthusiastic attempt to smile at the Hatter's offer but changed his mind when he saw their spread. (that is, everything that wasn't squished and was still edible)

There was a cluster of flower growing up through the middle of the table that poured out colorful bubbly drinks. Spread out on different sized plates were biscuits, cakes, and tarts in every shade and flavor imaginable. There was honey, jam, and chocolate oozing out in rivers across the table and even the little mushrooms on the edge had cream in them. Alfred couldn't believe his eyes.

"Oh yes. Things have gotten much better since Miss Alice slayed that nasty beasty, the Jabberwocky. We've been waiting for ages for her return but she never came..."

"This is awesome! You should see some of the stuff England has with his tea. Maybe, if he could make some of this, people might actually come over to his house sometimes."

(After several plates of this and a couple cups of that...)

"Huh, you're right. I do feel kind of better." Alfred had gotten into the rhythm of when Spain/Mr. Thackery was going to throw something at him and had even enjoyed talking to England/Tarrant. The garden was sunny and golden under the afternoon sun and the air was filled with the smell of sweets and flowers. Spain/Mr. Thackery even managed to catch the little dormouse and was cuddling it and cooing to it while it tried to squirm out of his grip.

Alfred remembered the bottle and when he checked it he saw that it had filled up a little. He smiled and got up telling the crazy pair that he had to go and meet other people. Tarrant gave him a melancholy smile and then stood up and walked with him to the edge of the garden. Then he grabbed him by the shoulder and looked at him straight in the eye.

"Whoa, what's the matter dude? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Alfred, there's something you should know before you go any further. Wonderland isn't like your world. There's going to be things you don't understand and people that you don't want to meet. Be careful. Everything will be different from here on out. We were just the beginning and beginnings are always easy. First go to see tweedles in the forest. They like playing hide and seek but don't EVER let them catch you. YOU have to find THEM. Then look for Ches. He likes places with things that evaporate but he could be anywhere. You may meet some other people but you shouldn't go to the Red Queen until the bottle's almost full. She won't let you leave easily. She's gotten a little obsessive from her isolation. It also goes without saying that you don't mention heads in front of her. You got that?"

"Umm... tweedles in a forest, evaporating cat, queen last, am I missing anything?"

When Alfred turned around to look back everything was gone. All that was left was bag that said "delivery" on the outside. When he opened it up he couldn't see anything but when he looked away and reached down he pulled out two identical little beanie hats with the words "Dee" and "Dum" on them.

"Nice. So not only do you give me weird advice but you also dump your work on me. I guess I better get going though. Who knows what's happened to Mattie while I'm here?"

With that Alfred raced off into a dark forest. He was running so fast he didn't see two pairs of eyes peaking out at him from the trees. The game was on.

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**Yeah... This made me way too hungry. Also, sorry is you wanted to use Romano for something else Yunie, but Spain is just not Spain without Romano. Chapter by: Nami ;)**


	5. Chapter 4

Alfred was ready to give up. It had been almost seven hours since he had left the tea party garden and he still hadn't found any clue where to find tweedledee and tweedledum. He couldn't even find his way out. When he had turned back after first entering all he could see was a dark and tangled expanse of woods. Further along the way he had found some scattered road signs but each pointed in a different direction and said things like "this way" and "over here." He had tried looking for clues that someone had been through but there were so many creatures crawling around the canopy that it wasn't much help.

Finding a tree that was somewhat less threatening than the others, Alfred laid down against it and took a deep breath trying not to panic.

_This isn't so bad right? Mattie's had to bust me out of worst stuff than this. I'm sure that red stuff I saw in the branches was just squished bugs. Yeah, just bugs..._

Then he heard an horrible scream that started in his skull and reverberated all down his body.

"BROTHER! Where is he? Why didn't he come back for us? GIVE ME MY BROTHER!"

Alfred felt nails gouging his skin and thin, desperate hands ripping at his hair. He tried to shield his face while at the same time fighting and yelling at the crazy banshee to get off. While wrestling with his attacker he saw another figure creeping up out of the corner of eyes but this one was much more timid and was whimpering trying to get the other one to stop. Then it dawned on him. He pulled his assailant's hair making her let go long enough for Alfred to get her into a headlock where he finally got a good look at them.

"Bela? Ukraine? You guys are supposed to be tweedledee and tweedledum? But I thought they were supposed to be boys - OOOOOOWWW!"

Tweedledee managed to twist around enough to where she could yank Alfred's nantucket curl. He released her and she crawled over and stood next to her sister glaring down at him with disdain.

"I HATE it when people say this. First with the stupid blonde one who got our story all wrong and then the idiot Hatter with always the late delivery and now this? I will carve insides out and feed to bandersnatch after gifting useless head to brother dear."

"B-b-but D-dee I think he's just here for the Hatter. After all you see the bag over there and EEP!"

"SILENCE! Worthless sister you know nothing! You are why brother left us! You say nothing! Boy! Through your ignorant babble I did hear our names. Are you hear to deliver good hats or to die in fun ways?"

"Ummm, no. I'm not here for either. Well, I do have your hats 'cause England, I mean the Hatter, dumped them on me. The real reason I'm here is to be friends with you guys so I can get home."

"R-really?"

"I said SHUT IT! And you! Barging in here demanding bonds when you speak ignorance! Give us the hats and maybe I will consider friendship."

Not wanting to provoke them till he got what he came for Alfred went back to the spot where he had dropped the bag and pulled out the two matching hat. It looked a little ridiculous because they were both wearing beautifully embroidered long coats with leggings and knee length boots but the strange attire didn't exactly fit the scenery in the first place.

When they put the hats on their whole demeanor changed. They giggled and clapped and whispered to each other excitedly before turning on Alfred who was thinking about what the Hatter had said about dee and dum's "games" and how the two people that were his friends in his world had just threatened to kill him. It wasn't looking so good.

"Okay, we will be friends but first we will play a little game. We will count to a hundred and you will hide in a good place. Then we will find you. Adzin, dva, tri..."

Alfred ran off into some thick foliage but no matter where he went he could hear the two chiming sing-song in a rhythm that seemed to send a pulse through the forest. He found a rocky trench and huddled down in it holding the phial close to him.

_Note to self. Never play hide and seek with Belarus and Ukraine. Ever._

No sooner had he thought this than the two people in question came gliding out of the dark. He wouldn't been disturbed by the fact that they had found him so quick if he wasn't so preoccupied by the rusty farmer scythe and the bloody dagger they were holding.

_Okay, so I know he said I had to make some friends but maybe not with ALL of them. I mean, even Ukraine/Tweedledum's acting all psycho and she can't even stand up to Latvia!_

*THUNK*

The knife imbedded in the rock five inches from his face pretty much decided for him. He jumped out and sprinted past them in the direction of the road signs. Pulling one out of the ground he swung it at tweedledum whacking her in the face. He grabbed her hat off the ground and grabbed tweedledee's off her head along before taking off.

"Sorry ladies! No tip, no service!"

They tried to chase after him but somehow he could tell where he was going now. Paths seemed to form in front of him and thinking about it he internally kicked himself.

_Stupid Hatter could've TOLD me the hats were magic._

When he finally got out he could hear one last desperate wail behind him and then a sound like a click and just like that the forest was gone. Alfred groaned at the waste of time but it changed into a laugh when he saw that the phial had filled up a little more.

_Maybe I can survive this place. All I gotta do is find some cat and a queen and I'll be home free. How hard can it be?_

~ kolkolkolkolkol ~

"Don't worry. We wouldn't want you getting by that easy now would we?"

A man held up a phial looking across the barren wasteland of his banishment. The phial was identical to Alfred's and he muttered under his breath as he poured a black substance into it that seeped in the glass and shattered it to pieces. The man squeezed these till blood ran down his arms which he held up to his face with a nasty smile.

"Let's see how much longer you can go without your memory my dear little _America~"_

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**_Yay! We have Russia! Now for the Chesire Kitty~_**

**_- Nami_**


	6. Chapter 5

**Short chapter because the next one will be longer cuz its going to be my favorite and the only reason I want ed to start this story.**

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I was standing at a fork in the road staring at two signs. One said Quest and pointed to beautiful meadows and a huge forest. The other said Snudd and pointed to creepy looking barren wasteland. A tree sat in the middle of these two signs and only one half of it was blooming green leaves and rainbow flowers while the other half was dry and dead. I sighed not knowing which way to go.

"Now what do I do?" I sighed and walked up to the tree to sit down and take a break from walking. The sun had set a long time ago and I didn't want to take any chances of traveling in this place at night. I walked over and sat down in front of the tree. I leaned my head back against it and closed my eyes.

I tried to think of the people I met and how many more I have to go. I met the creepy, evil twins. I met the hare, mouse and… Wait who was that one guy. Suddenly my head began to pound with pain. I screamed because it hurt so badly. I put my head between my knees and waited for the pain to ease.

* * *

It felt like hours had passed after the headache slowly began to ease up to where I could think again. I looked up and looked around. It was still dark out and I heard someone singing. I looked for where the voice was coming but didn't see anybody. I sighed giving up and leaned my head against the tree trying to sleep.

"Lose something?" A voice said soon as I closed my eyes. I quickly jumped up and looked up at the tree where the voice came from. I still didn't see anything there until slowly a man began to form. Soon as his body was solid and not transparent I recognized him.

He looked like Italy but he had cat ears and was wearing the biggest smile ever. He was lying across a long tree branch looking down at me and laughing.

"Well, uh, not that I know of." I said getting closer to the tree to get a better look.

"OK then see ya." Then he slowly began to disappear.

"Wait please, I do need help." He began forming back to normal.

"Yes." He said dragging out the s at the end.

"I need to know which way to go, cat."

"It's Cheshire Cat, thank you. And it depends on where you want to go."

"Well I... I need to go to…I don't remember." Why couldn't I remember? The only thing I remember is meeting the caterpillar and that I need to make friends and that's it nothing after that.

"Well it doesn't really matter which way you go, Alfred." He said sitting up to stand on the branch.

"How do you know my name?" I asked confused about everything.

"Everyone knows who you are."

"OK Then who is everyone?"

"Let's see the white rabbit went a that a way." He said pointing to Snudd. "The Hatter, March Hare, and Door mouse are that a way." He said pointing to the road behind me. "And the twins live over that a way." He said pointing to Quest. I felt like I should know all these people but I don't remember any of them.

"OK that helps me in no way what so ever."

"What doesn't help?" He asked in a serious manner. I shook my head confused.

"What you just said." I said angrily.

"I didn't say anything."

"Yes you did." Getting angrier.

"No I didn't." I was so mad at that point I thought about just leaving.

"What is with you!" I yelled and he began to laugh he laid back down and hung upside down on the branch.

"Everyone here is mad. If you haven't noticed I'm not quite all there myself." He said slowly beginning to fade away. He began singing his song and after he disappeared I still heard him humming it and laughing.

"That was just weird." I reached in my pocket and pulled out the small vile of liquid. It had a lot more in it now that it had at the beginning. The problem was though I don't remember any of the people I met and why I can't remember. I can't even remember where I'm supposed to be going. I thought about the people he had told me about and tried to think.

I faced towards the road behind me and remembered the Hatter was that way. For some reason though I didn't feel like going that way. Then I turned to Quest and remembered he said the twins were that way and I shivered at the thought. I felt like that way was dangerous. So I turned to Snudd and remembered the Rabbit was that way and I didn't get any weird feelings about him so I began walking down that road.

The walk wasn't long before I saw a huge red and pink castle. The architecture of it looked as if it was supposed to resemble a bunch of hearts. I nodded and took another step forward and suddenly I felt and great pressure on my shoulders and I was no longer on the ground.

I looked down and realized I was flying through the air and towards the castle. I looked up at the thing holding me and saw it was a red and white bird with a striped tail. I sighed deciding not to bother since nothing could really surprise me anymore.

"Here I come girly heart castle."

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**Not the best one because the next chapter will be EPIC! Un less Nami has a diff plan of course...**


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